Thank you Good2begone for mentioning me. I was teary eyed as I looked at the screen. Thank you for your kind words. I am honored.
Yesterday I came back to Houston. Reaching home I saw my grand son IB still sitting at the dinning table, trying to finish his breakfast. A solitary figure, watching cartoons at the same time.It was past eleven. I made my own and sat down next to him. I was hungry. I had got up at three in the morning to come via shuttle to the airport. My son in law carried my one piece of luggage. He saw to everything and waited patiently till I got out of his sight in the waiting line to security check up.
I finished my tea. IB was still sitting trying……. I asked him,”Why don’t you finish your breakfast?” He gave me a smile and went on lethargically picking at things. I told him he was getting reduced in size by not eating. He got up from the table. He pulled his tee shirt up, bunched his flat stomach in his hands and said, “See, I am having baby fat here, I don’t feel like eating.”
Only God knows who put the crap in his head.
Thoughts on First Anniversary of my husband’s death, 2nd August 2012.
You are feeling desolate. You are looking right at people, feeling empty inside with shock filled eyes. The shock of your husband dying. You have still not come to grips with the fact even after a year.
You think it’s a bad dream. You think it will fade and go away. Your world has turned upside down. A bleak sky frowns and glares upon you. You lose your life partner, the one you held onto through thick and thin. A load of misery awash your soul. Pain and tears fill your eyes with remembrance of a person, death never hesitated and took him away from you.
The mere mention and the floodgates open into a deluge. The hurt is never away. It resides within your soul. It comes out at unexpected moments. Terrible moments.
Love you, till we meet again.
I wrote this today as I will be traveling tomorrow.
We started our fasting yesterday that’s July 10th, the first day of Ramadan. I am prone to kidney infections. To keep my kidneys giving up on me I need to drink a lot of water. Our fast begins after the morning Azan, the call to prayer. Yesterday it was 5.15 am. We get up a little earlier. Have our breakfast plus a lot of water. That’s me, of course filling my stomach with water. (As if I can retain all that water rest of the day)
We break our fast in the evening with the Azan for the evening prayers. Eating dates and something from the Iftari spread which consists of Pakoras, Chana Chat, Samosas, Fruit Chat and Dahi Balay. This varies from day to day. Two things are always there plus lots of Shorbet and me needing my water. We say our evening prayers and then return for dinner. At that moment you don’t feel like eating anything because you are all ready stuffed to the brim with what you ate earlier. The boys and my son depart for their Taraweeh. Taraweeh are special prayers added to the Isha (night prayers) prayers in the month of Ramadan.
For those who don’t know, we have five prayers daily. Morning prayer called Fajr prayer, before the sun rises is the first one. The second prayer is called Zuhr. It’s about 1.30 pm at noon. The third prayer is Asar which is about 5.00 pm. The fourth prayer is the evening prayer called Maghreb and it is after sun down at about say 8.30 pm. The last prayer is the Isha. You can call it the night prayer.
My son after returning from office, the first thing he did was to check up on me, to see how I was faring in my fasting. I assured him that I was feeling as right as rain. Masha Allah. (Thanks to God) So he went off to get his much needed rest. Lately he hasn’t been okay and I am worried about his health.
Last year I didn’t fast because of my operation. In lieu of that I gave money to the poor. If my kidneys started paining I will have to stop fasting. I am hoping it won’t happen. Wish me luck.😐
In the mosques free food is available. So here is a cartoon based on that.
Cartoon courtesy of Web.
A few days back I visited TJMax. I liked a purse. The color brown was exquisite. 👌 My d in law,who was with me there, advised against my buying it. She said that it was too expensive and I could find something like that elsewhere. I brought one at Macy’s, but now I am suffering heart pangs (I am clutching my heart) over the one I didn’t buy. I wish I had that one.🙍
Sometimes I intensively dislike my indecisiveness. What should I do? This has always been the bane of my life. Why am I like that? I do ask myself. I see people around me including my daughter make up their mind in seconds and then they stick to their decision. I agonize and think. I should do this thing or not? Should I buy this thing or not?
I have noticed this, if someone is with me and sort of urges me to make a quick decision, without fail I get double minded over it. What I will do is ——-Take My Own Time.
Last night we had dinner with a friend of my son. His friends are really, very nice. Since they know, that I am staying with him, I am included in their invites. I had a most amazing experience. I saw an African grey parrot (Psittacus erithacus) up close. Up till now, I had only seen it in pictures. This one was named Lucky. He kept following Aminah. (The lady of the house) I was sitting near her. Lucky came, and stood near my feet. I was afraid of his pecking on my foot. He only wanted attention from Aminah. She said that it was very much attached to her, and keeps following her around the house. He was not talking in front of us, but when guests are not there, he talks nineteen to a dozen. It was lovely watching their interaction.
I am tempted to have one like Lucky. Maybe if I settled here, I might try to have one. It’s life span is long, sixty to ninety years. I won’t be afraid of it dying, and leaving me. It makes a great pet. Although I may be the one, leaving it behind when the time comes.
A few years back, my husband and I found a Cockatiel, outside on our verandah. It was early February and very cold. Honey brought it inside. For a month, he nursed the bird, dressing it’s slight cuts and feeding. Honey asked me, wether I would like to keep it. Somehow, the idea of keeping a bird in a cage is repugnant to me. So, we released the Cockatiel, once it had recovered it’s strength. We took it to the terrace, and waved goodbye. 😢