Tag Archives: cancer

A Few Words

Connect the Dots
Open your nearest book to page 82. Take the third full sentence on the page, and work it into a post somehow.



This was the third sentence on page 82:
Only the haunting knowledge that her time was running out gave her the drive necessary to get up ……….. the sentence goes on.

The woman in this story was suffering from cancer. Her daughter goes on a cruise, and she is missing. There are others like her, who have gone missing too. They are presumed dead by the police. Through the efforts of a lawyer turned psychologist the killer is apprehended, though she barely escape death at the hands of the killer.

The sentence reminded me of my (late) husband R’s battle with cancer.

I could feel R’s hurt at those people, who were always in, and out of our home at all hours, and when we needed their presence in our world (turned topsy, turvy by sickness), they opted out. They weren’t there for us.

One such couple was a nephew, and his wife. We wouldn’t have felt it, if they were in a different city. They avoided contact with us even through phone calls.

Cancer is not a viral disease, which a person will catch through a contact.

Then another close relation, who could visit us, went into total oblivion. Once we badly needed a driver (for two, three hours) to drive us to Shafa in Islamabad from Pindi. We had taken accommodation in Pindi, to get treatment, once R was diagnosed with cancer.

Our own driver had gone on a three days leave, and a week had gone by, and he hadn’t returned. In desperation I called the relation, reaching them with difficulty. He could have easily sent his driver, but he didn’t. Meanwhile our errant driver came back finally. He got a thorough scolding from a very sick R.

Many stayed away with never a phone call even. There were other sweet people (they were not friends or relatives), and among them R’s PMA Course mates, who used to visit regularly. With their visiting, they would take off my husband’s mind from his illness.

A short visit, so as not to tire the patient, and a few words of comfort, that’s all one needs.


Morning Tea

Daily Prompt: Pick Your Potion
Captain Picard was into Earl Grey tea; mention the Dude and we think: White Russians. What’s your signature beverage — and how did it achieve that status?


I can’t forgo my morning tea with breakfast. I love the taste of Earl Grey tea, but I like the Twinnings’ Classic more. They are heavenly.

I used to use two bags per cup. After learning that too much black tea is likely to cause cancer of the stomach, it made me a bit wary of tea drinking. Now I use only one tea bag.

In the beginning using one bag was a struggle, as I like strong tea (soothed my head), but now I have got used to it.

I take a big mug of milk, add one tea bag, no sugar, and microwave it for two minutes. Wait a bit; meanwhile empty the dishwasher of its load, while waiting for the tea to infuse the milk. Put everything in its’ proper place. Then I go back to the microwave, and press the start for one more minute.

Tea is ready. I gather my bowl of porridge, and a boiled egg, and I sit down to savor my breakfast.


A Soup Machine

Daily Prompt: Vending Wishes
Soft drinks, electronics, nutrient – free snacks — you can get all of those from a vending machine. But what type of vending machine is surely needed but doesn’t yet exist? Share your automated retail fantasies with us!


I am prone to colds. Anyone in the family gets a cold, the germs next victim is me. I can’t escape from its onslaught.

I don’t have a defense mechanism against it. I have tried most medication. I tried getting immunized to it by having vaccine specially made for it. It didn’t help me.

I have practically lived with having my nose congested all my life. At times like those I would love to have chicken soup. People recommend it for colds.

To tell you the truth I have made chicken soup a zillion times during my husband’s illness. That was the one thing he had twice daily, during his fight with cancer, and on which he existed.

I would love to have a vending machine which dispenses three types of chicken soup.

I could exist on soup. It will sure save me hours of kitchen drudgery. I could utilize those hours for some other pursuits.

A Soup Machine

Where To?

Daily Prompt: Fast Forward
If you could fast forward to a specific date in the future, when would it be?


I don’t think I want to fast forward to any date in the future.

I like taking one day at a time.

I can’t think of a date to which I would like to move.

It’s not like when I was a child and I look forward to holidays wishing I was sooner there.
Wanting something badly and would wish the day to arrive quicker.
Wanting exams to be over and wishing to see result day.
And so on so forth ………….

You can ask if I could go back in time where I would like to be?

Before my husband died and he wasn’t suffering from cancer.

Where To?



Since last Saturday I am running against time. My daughter in law’s brother died of cancer in Ireland. She was inconsolable with grief. Her friends kept coming to offer condolences. She has left for the funeral of her brother. She will be away for three weeks now. I am left holding the fort.

I have to wash, cook and clean for three kids, no make it four to include my son, the eldest kid among them. I get up at five, say my prayers hurriedly and rush downstairs to make breakfast for them. Alongside I prepare their lunches, which the children take to school.

Yesterday I didn’t prepare lunch for the youngest one. I just put a chips packet and a cold drink in his lunch bag. Per d in law’s instructions my son went and deposited money for the lunches so that the youngest one can have it there. I B after coming back from school demanded, ” Why didn’t you give me a fish burger?”

I told him that his mother wanted him to eat at school till she comes back.

“No, I don’t want to eat at school. I didn’t like the pizza they gave me,” was his answer.

I B playing at his computer

Today in the morning I made him finish his toast and milk. After brushing his teeth, changed his pj for a clean shirt and shorts. He was ready for the school bus. He came and poked at the left over fish on the tray. He told me, “It’s not supposed to be like this.” It crumbled when touched.
“How it’s supposed to be? I asked him.
“It should be hard,” was his answer.
Later on I realized his mother must have been microwaving it, whereas I baked it for twenty minutes.

This reminds me of my friend. She was looking after her sister’s two kids while the sister was in hospital. The aunt would make breakfast for them but the children wouldn’t like it.
“What’s wrong?” She asked.
One of the boys demonstrated it by burning the toast. He scraped it, then started munching it happily.

The second one Sn has told me,”I am irritated with you.” As to what he is irritated at, I have yet to discover. I can only guess at it. Probably with the salad I made last night. I didn’t find the vinegar, so I squeezed lemon juice on it.

The only happy fellow in the house is my son. And here I can correctly guess the real reason. He would have to do all the chores I am doing.😊

Give Me A Kiss

Last year in May, we went to Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. I needed surgery, and was in a pretty bad shape. My husband accompanied me. Although he was weak, and gravelly ill from cancer, he could not let me go alone. He was undergoing chemo, after his stomach had been removed earlier in February. Sadly he is no longer alive to watch over me. I had a Laparoscopic surgery at King Fahd Hospital by Dr.Al Sary. I had Pelvic Floor Repair done, (Sacral Colpopexy) and another procedure, where a sling was placed. Six years before, I had open surgery for the same problem in Rawalpindi.

I had my (much) needed rest at my daughter’s home. Both of us were sick, and couldn’t tolerate noise. The younger ones, TJ and M4 generated a lot of screaming and crying, more so from M4. It would get pretty intolerable at times. My left ear drum had ruptured, and I would cover my ear, when M4 would start screaming, in a fit of childish tantrum. One day in desperation, I shouted at her and told her to be quiet.

I never knew that she had Memory of an Elephant. This year, when I visited KSA again, M4 would not come near me. Whenever I tried to hug her or kiss her, she would run away. One night on a drive, she was seated next to me. She was prattling on to M2 in a sweet way, and in a rush of affection, I tried to hug and kiss her. She squirmed away from me. So, I asked her, “how can I get a hug from you? If I say sorry, will that do?” She thought for a while and said I could be “Forgiven” if I could say hundred times “Sorry.”

I started my punishment, “I am sorry.” I eventually finished it, turned to get a hug and a kiss, but she twisted away. I told her that she has gone back on her promise to forgive me. Pat came a reply that I should continue saying, “I am sorry” till we reach, where we were going.

I was not, “Forgiven.”

M4, Virginia.


I saw him standing in white clothes. I am seeing him exactly after a gap of two months. Joyfully I rush forward and put my arms around him to hug him tightly. “You are not going to leave me, are you?” Smilingly, he promises,” No never.”
But he is gone and never holds on to his promise. I wake up and realize it was just a dream. Tears stream down my face whenever I think back to Aug 2, 2012 the day the sky and everything around me turned black. My husband embarked on this day on his final journey. He was suffering from Signet Ring Carcinoma of stomach, the worse type of cancer imaginable. I used to block thoughts about his impending death to hold on to sanity.
Friends and relatives say he was a person who graced any occasion with his presence there. He was always smiling but cancer took away his smile.
He is gone but in a way he is still there for me. He is there in the smile of our son, the sounding of his footsteps and his voice. He is there in how our daughter conducts herself. She is really a chip of the old block and in so many ways resembles him.
I know he will be there when I begin my final journey.

On the road to Chitral, Pakistan
Twilight outside my home