Wish the mask wasn’t removed from certain faces
The harsh reality is harder to bear
I’m too frail to cope, and no know naught what to do
O Allah don’t let me fall into despair
(Sheen, Nov 2021)
Mask
Tag Archives: despair
The Test of Time
The love you bore me is no longer there
Anguish, abandonment, I can’t bear
I thought of it as resilient withstanding time, and space
What I didn’t know
It would fail the test for grace
It wasn’t the forever kind
The one wish I had in mind
Despair hits me from behind
Where did I go wrong
Still trying to understand
Is it me, or is it you
(Sheen, June 2021)
Day Thirty first (A Journey with Quran)
Surah Al Imran. Ayats 131 – 140
131. Fear the Fire, which is repaired for those who reject Faith:
132. And obey Allah and the Messenger. that ye may obtain mercy.
133. Be quick in the race for forgiveness from your Lord, and for a Garden whose width is that (of the whole) of the heavens and of the earth, prepared for the righteous,-
134. Those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men;- for Allah loves those who do good;-
135. And those who, having done something to be ashamed of, or wronged their own souls, earnestly bring Allah to mind, and ask for forgiveness for their sins,- and who can forgive sins except Allah.- and are never obstinate in persisting knowingly in (the wrong) they have done.
136. For such the reward is forgiveness from their Lord, and Gardens with rivers flowing underneath,- an eternal dwelling: How excellent a recompense for those who work (and strive)!
137. Many were the Ways of Life that have passed away before you: travel through the earth, and see what was the end of those who rejected Truth.
138. Here is a plain statement to men, a guidance and instruction to those who fear Allah.
139. So lose not heart, nor fall into despair: For ye must gain mastery if ye are true in Faith.
140. If a wound hath touched you, be sure a similar wound hath touched the others. Such days (of varying fortunes) We give to men and men by turns: that Allah may know those that believe, and that He may take to Himself from your ranks Martyr-witnesses (to Truth). And Allah loveth not those that do wrong.
Translation: Abdullah Yusuf
Taken from tafsir (explanation) for Ayat 134 is the excerpt below
The existence of interest in a society generates two kinds of moral disease. It breeds greed and avarice, meanness and selfishness among those who receive interest. At the same time, those who have to pay interest develop strong feelings of hatred, resentment, spite and jealousy. God intimates to the believers that the attributes bred by the spread of interest are the exact opposite of those which develop as a result of spending in the way of God, and that it is through the latter rather than the former that man can achieve God’s forgiveness and Paradise.
Binge
After Son got divorced from his wife, he went on a shopping binge. He was depressed at the turn his life took. Suddenly he had no money, deep in debts (his ex had carefully planned it, while she was plotting for divorce), no home (that he left to his children, and ex), she got the custody of children, plus all his pay went into paying support. While his debts mounted, his tax return spiraled up since he was single again. Son was in deep misery.
Then he came, and got me to live, and take care of him. I went into despair of my own at the turn his life took. It was totally unexpected. I had to literally pull him from the deep dungeon of sorrow where he was buried, plus keep my own sanity. I aged overnight, and started looking a scarecrow.
Both of us have come a long way from 2015, when it happened. Son would go out, and buy things which he didn’t really need. It was a time when he had to budget carefully, and he was going the opposite way. He was getting mired in more debt, and had stopped caring at what would be the end of it.
He would buy, and I would think of ways to return the items he bought. Thankfully we both try to curtail our spending. I point out when he tries to buy something which is totally unnecessary. He does the same with me. Yesterday I got enamored at a shop with two covered small dishes– one of my weakness is buying crockery I don’t really need, and thought my life would be over if I didn’t get them. Before that I fell in love with a Bonsai plant in another shop. I’m feeling nostalgic, remembering the plant.
I didn’t buy the aforementioned things, cause Son pointed out the futility in case of the dishes as we don’t have any cupboard space in our tiny kitchen. I already have plants which need caring, and are going to get neglected, cause of my absence when I go to visit my daughter. Why subject another one to negligence?
I got the idea, but am getting pangs of heartache at not buying that beautiful bonsai. It would have certainly brightened my world.
Catapult
In my nightmares I am catapulted to the year I lived in uncle’s home. It wasn’t even a year, only ten months. When father died, my two younger brothers, sister and I were underage. The court granted custody to our older paternal uncle as a guardian. Our this uncle was married to our maternal aunt.
I escaped uncle’s home by accepting marriage to my late husband, but my siblings had a prolonged, miserable living with uncle, and his family. Sometimes my sister, and I reminisce about those times in our lives. She has terrible nightmares, worse than me.
In my dreams, I am back in uncle’s home. Aunt is glaring at me, and telling me off. The feelings of dread, and despair weighs down my heart, and I’m back to an unhappy existence.
I wake up, and feel totally disoriented, “Where am I?” Then the realization strikes that I am no longer living that life. I feel happy, and breathe a sigh of relief. It has been many years, but the dream still occurs.
In my world sorrow, and happiness exists side by side.
…
DAILY PROMPT
Catapult
Write a new post in response to today’s one-word prompt.
Will I Survive?
Smooth was the tongue with which she talked
I was taken by it before I knew
Wish I had known to save myself
From the misery that would follow through
The anguish I feel is like daggers drawn
Piercing me in several spots
With my heart ripped into pieces, blood drips unseen
The pain manifold, I never sought
Broken down and depressed is how I feel
Wasted love, wasted years have gone down the drain
Despair and exhaustion runs through my veins
Will I survive, will I remain?
(Sheen-June2016)
This poem I have penned is in lieu of my son, and what he is going through at present.
Daily Prompt: Smooth
Write a new post in response to today’s one-word prompt.
Why Everyday?
Why everyday my daily prompt brings on despair
What to think, and what to write
Why do I wait for the prompt to come
Why do I get disappointed each day
https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/fearful-symmetry/
Fearful Symmetry
Pick a letter, any letter. Now, write a story, poem, or post in which every line starts with that letter.
Loneliness is a Foe
Cut Off
by Michelle W.
When was the last time you felt really, truly lonely?
Loneliness is a foe to be kept at bay
It can lead one to acute despair
You have to keep it banishing everyday
With books to read, and works you prefer
Sometimes succeeding, other times not
You can’t give in to what you fear
What I do is to keep myself busy
With good thoughts, and my daily prayers
Then there is my God, who watches over me
He buoys me up, and keeps me in good cheer
Hope Shines
Tourist Trap
by Michelle W.
What’s your dream tourist destination — either a place you’ve been and loved, or a place you’d love to visit? What about it speaks to you?
Aya Sophia from inside — the names Allah, and Muhammad (peace be upon him), and picture of Jesus, and Mary. Photo: thanks to FJ
At the moment my deepest wish is to get back to Peshawar. Only God knows when it’s going to be fulfilled. I hope it’s soon Insha’Allah (if God wills), Ameen.
Knowing myself, I can predict that soon after reaching my dusty, old home town, I will be fed up with load shedding, and other problems.
I have been waiting to visit Turkey, and Malayasia during my husband’s lifetime, but it was not to be. I got raving accolades about Turkey from one acquaintance. From another it was a complete no-no. Both had their own experiences. So I don’t know what to decide.
One thing I know for sure is, I will try to co-ordinate the visit with my daughter. I don’t want to go on my own. For me it will be scary going alone to some place. She has not divulged which place she is likely to visit this year. Last year it was UK. I should remember to ask her on my next phone call.
I did make her promise that I will be included on the Turkey trip. So maybe I make it Insha’Allah.
Wishful thinking, and high hopes indeed!
However dark the surroundings it seems now
Hope shines brightly in my space
It will keep me from dark thoughts, and despair
Finally leading me to eternal peace
Sultan Ahmet Mosque, and Hagia Sophia
Photos credit: FJ (the photos are from his visit to Turkey, last year)
First Heartbreak
DAILY PROMPT
First!
Tell us about your first day at something — your first day of school, first day of work, first day living on your own, first day blogging, first day as a parent, whatever.
Your words are like stones, they have hit me hard
I am hurting, just leave me behind
My heart is breaking with all your lies
Leave me alone, I want to hide
Why the sound of loud drums beat into my ears
Why? what you have said fills me with despair
Why does my heart hurts so much
Why am I breaking slowly into layers
A tired broken spirit
what others may see
I don’t want anyone to know
What your words have done to me
(Sheen)
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/first/
No prompt, and no connecting with the grid—my efforts doesn’t matter!😩
Flowers and Breezes 