Last year in May, we went to Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. I needed surgery, and was in a pretty bad shape. My husband accompanied me. Although he was weak, and gravelly ill from cancer, he could not let me go alone. He was undergoing chemo, after his stomach had been removed earlier in February. Sadly he is no longer alive to watch over me. I had a Laparoscopic surgery at King Fahd Hospital by Dr.Al Sary. I had Pelvic Floor Repair done, (Sacral Colpopexy) and another procedure, where a sling was placed. Six years before, I had open surgery for the same problem in Rawalpindi.
I had my (much) needed rest at my daughter’s home. Both of us were sick, and couldn’t tolerate noise. The younger ones, TJ and M4 generated a lot of screaming and crying, more so from M4. It would get pretty intolerable at times. My left ear drum had ruptured, and I would cover my ear, when M4 would start screaming, in a fit of childish tantrum. One day in desperation, I shouted at her and told her to be quiet.
I never knew that she had Memory of an Elephant. This year, when I visited KSA again, M4 would not come near me. Whenever I tried to hug her or kiss her, she would run away. One night on a drive, she was seated next to me. She was prattling on to M2 in a sweet way, and in a rush of affection, I tried to hug and kiss her. She squirmed away from me. So, I asked her, “how can I get a hug from you? If I say sorry, will that do?” She thought for a while and said I could be “Forgiven” if I could say hundred times “Sorry.”
I started my punishment, “I am sorry.” I eventually finished it, turned to get a hug and a kiss, but she twisted away. I told her that she has gone back on her promise to forgive me. Pat came a reply that I should continue saying, “I am sorry” till we reach, where we were going.
I was not, “Forgiven.”