Tag Archives: funeral

A Mishap

Coco (daughter in law) and I went to Charsadda to attend her sister’s bridal shower. It was raining copiously the day we started from Peshawar. It was non stop raining when we ventured on the road. My late husband’s first cousin had died a day before. I couldn’t make it to the funeral. We decided to go first to the cousin’s house, and then drive back to attend the bridal shower.

Actually we had to attend two functions. The second one was a dinner at the bride to be in laws’ home. I wish I had taken some pictures, but I was totally drained out, and kept falling asleep through out the function.

We stayed for three days at our village home. I ‘m still unable to sell off my home, and land in the village. The buyers give pitiful offers which I can’t accept. My property is worth more.

A mishap happened on our return to Peshawar. Our roads are terribly narrow. With the influx of cars, trucks, buses, wagons, and motor cycles, it’s a wonder we arrived back in one piece. Another vehicle wouldn’t give me any space to get ahead of it. It kept driving in the center of the road. At one point where the road widened a bit I tried to overtake it. It scraped the side of my car. I kept going. I didn’t want to see the damage inflicted on my poor car.

We don’t have car insurances here, so it was no use stopping.

The driver had other ideas. He over took me again, and wouldn’t let me get through. In frustration I stopped. Imagine his audacity in telling me, “I didn’t want to let you pass me, why did you do it?” His ego got hurt by a woman getting ahead of him.He came to pick a fight with me, and wouldn’t acknowledge his own wrongdoing.


In the days my sister in law M died, the weather turned unpredictable. A heavy mist came down. In the mornings the sun would climb high in the sky, but the mist wouldn’t clear. One had to wait till noon for the skies to clear off.

My brother in law B told me that he would be coming at seven to pick me up, and I should be ready to leave. The burial was set at eleven. We thought we had ample time. Because of the mist on the highway it was slow going. We crawled at a slow pace, since B could only see a few feet ahead. It was our bad fate there were more trucks than cars on the road that day. My sister in law S kept a steady chatter throughout our journey, but it couldn’t alleviate our miserable trip.

The heater in their car wasn’t working. I was glad I had dressed warmly, cause by the time we reached M’s house all of us were feeling cold. The weather turned more dark and stormy as we entered the house. Cries of grief rent the air.

Last winter another thing which was unusual was the heavy mist in the evening and at night. On the terrace of my home the mist would be thick. It was literally walking into a wall beyond which you couldn’t see. 

I have never seen the likes of it before, although I have lived in Peshawar for quite sometime. 




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I have come across people who truly believe in their own superstitions. One of them was my (late) mother in law. New clothes couldn’t be worn for the first time on Tuesday. If you did the evil deed, bad luck was sure to follow you. If Eid was falling that day, or some other important occasion, all you could do to avert the bad luck was to wear them for a brief time some other day before the coming Tuesday. For her Tuesday was a harbinger of bad luck.

Something must have happened in her life on Tuesday to think that way.

Another superstition of her was not to use the broom for sweeping after her children left. She would get up early that day, and instruct the cleaning lady to quickly clean the house before the children left on that particular day. She feared something terrible would happen to her children, and they won’t come back  ever.

Another person I know doesn’t wash clothes, or does the cleaning on Friday. She thinks bad luck is sure to follow her if she doesn’t follow her belief.

My (late) maternal aunt thought wearing black clothes brought bad luck. When a black jora (clothes) arrived for me, from my in laws before my wedding, she was shocked at their doing.

My brother in law hid away at funerals. He thought that if he attended funerals death was sure to knock at his door. His wife died about a few years back, and he is childless. Now he comes to funerals, but keeps at a safe distance from the dead person.

Another very dear and sweet lady keeps on knocking on wood for good luck. I wonder how her knuckles survive so much knocking. It’s a continuous knock knock with her within a few minutes of talk. Many a time I would like to get hold of her hands to stop her, but then forbear and withhold my inclination. She is a Muslim, but she crosses her fingers when she wants good luck.




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Does it really matter?

Call Me Ishmael
Take the first sentence from your favorite book and make it the first sentence of your post.


Does it really matter?
This is the sentence from the book, “Looking Back Texas”, by Leanna Ellis. I finished this one, and another one, “I Dream of Genies” by Judi Fennell.

A few pages of the first one, and I was like ugh….. How much more I can take? I can’t abide endless talking. It drives me nuts. I put it aside, and picked up another one to read. Then there was no one to take me to the library. I was bored with nothing to read.

I was back to Looking Back Texas. OhOhOh! It turned out to be riveting. I raced from one chapter to the next. In the end what is usual for me, I couldn’t wait to find out what happens at the end. I must tell you here, my this habit is deplored by family members. They wonder why I can’t go through the suspense of a story?

When it’s killing me that’s the only recourse left open to me.

Archie leaves his wife Betty Lynne after a marriage of forty six years for a younger woman. Betty asks him before he leaves, as to what she should say. He says to tell everyone that he has died.

The story is hilarious. Betty arranges a funeral, and people get frightened by seeing Archie alive, when they are thinking him dead. They think it’s a ghost.

The other book, I Dream of Genies was all about genies, a talking cat, and magic. Eden (the genie), and Mat (her mortal hero) go through a whirlwind of frightening situations. Mat finally frees Eden from slavery, and from the clutches of an evil vizier who wants her for a wife.

Both books were unusual in their subject matter. I couldn’t tear away myself till I finished them.


Wedding and a Funeral

Daily Prompt: 10,000 Spoons
………. When all you need is a knife might not be ironic, but it is unfortunate. Add your own verse, stanza, or story badly – timed annoyance to Alanis Morissette’s classic:

My daughter Nola was having her exams, when sister-in-law let us know that her eldest daughter was getting married on such and such date. It was an unexpected announcement. Nola was grouchy at attending a wedding during her exams. Fortunately the dates coincided with a few days break between her written exams, and practicals.

We decided on going for three days, two days for the journey, and a day for the wedding. My husband R was away at a conference for Brigade Commanders.

The day we were getting ready for departing, R phoned to tell us that the bride’s grandmother had died suddenly; so probably the wedding was to be postponed to a later date. The wedding was to be held at the grandmother’s house. R told us not to come, and that he would attend the funeral, and make excuses on our behalf.

The next day to our amazement, R phoned to tell us that the wedding was taking place as planned. There was no postponement. He asked us, if we could make it to the wedding. Apparently both sides (the groom’s side and bride’s side) decided to hold the wedding on the due date. It was difficult for the groom to come on a later date from US.

We didn’t go, as it was an eight hour journey from where we were at the time. By the time we had reached, the wedding would have been over. We wouldn’t have made it.

It must have been ironic, that one day a funeral took place, and the relatives gathered on a sad, and depressing occasion. The next day a wedding was held at the same house, and it was a joyous occasion.