Tag Archives: God


I have seen you on the prayer mat

Bowing down to our God

Yet learnt you lie so blatantly

In total disregard

Of what’s true, and what did happen

The truth between us all

You forget the angels writing

Of what did befall

Your hatred, and maliciousness

Severed the ties that held us close

They are shredded, and beyond repair

With wickedness you pose

Lies, and deceit spread their poison forever

With broken spirit I won’t trust

The likes of you never


I wrote this poem a year, or two earlier, but have forgotten the date. I had posted it on my blog.


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I don’t know how it’s with me. For a couple of days I had a sense of misgiving hanging over me — as if something was going to happen.

It happened. Son learned through his ex that their older son H had an accident. Thank God H is alright. His car has been totaled. Someone ploughed into him from behind, and now he is skewed. Son, and I together paid for new tires, and brakes last month on his car, and now all that has gone to waste.

Life is so unpredictable!


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My village home front lawn

Feeling faint with worry I listened to the phone call from my chowkidar (watchman or caretaker) who looks after my village home in Charsadda, Pakistan. He let me know that my brother in law A had been sick for some time. His wife had died thirteen years earlier. He had no children, and there was no one to take care of him. The chowkidar Hakim wanted me to give him permission to bring A to my home so that he could take care of him.  Barely three days later Hakim wanted me to care of the incurring expenses. Seeing no way out I had to agree to it.

I just don’t understand where has his money gone from his bank account, saving funds, and from his property? He wasn’t poor. Why didn’t Hakim told me earlier, so that I had a talk with A? 

I had gone early to bed a day earlier. Wakened by the phone I listened to the news that A had died. It was night here but the day of 6th November had already dawned back in Charsadda. I had to give permission for the burial expenses, and so on. 

I sometimes think it’s becoming harder to exist, and God piles on to test your faith. Son has been without a job since August. His bills,spousal, and child support has become my responsibility too. I hope Son soon acquire a job, otherwise I don’t know what we are going to do? 

Please pray for us. Thank you.



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Daughter talks to me on Face Time nowadays, as she is no longer in Hartford. I usually put on the speaker phone. It allows me to multi task, and hands free while talking to her, besides my hands don’t ache constantly holding the phone to my ear

Most of my neighbors keep dogs. Some are so enamoured they have three instead of one. When daughter talks, she can hear the cacophony of noise offered by the neighborly canines.

Myself, I’m attuned to them by now, and my mind barely register the unholy sound emanating from their throats. For me it’s just a background noise. It doesn’t bother me. Even if it was a source of frustration, what could I do? I can’t go around banging my neighbor’s’ doors complaining to them about their pets.

Daughter was wondering aloud today, “How can you put up with so much noise? Why don’t you move from this neighborhood?”

I want to, and I have tried, but the matter isn’t in my hands. Whenever God Wills it, it will happen.



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When we pray to God, we expect our prayers to be answered positively. When they don’t we feel disallusioned with life. The three directions in which our prayers go: the first one in which our prayer is instantly accepted by God.

The second one in which our prayer is on hold, and when the appropriate time comes along — it happens.

The third one in which God gives you something better than what you wished for in the Hereafter. It’s said that people will wish that it would have been better if all their prayers were accepted for their Hereafter life.

When bad things happen my way, I wilt, and droop with disappointment…. Sigh…sigh…sigh,  but start anew expecting good things to happen again.



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I want to be brave

I can’t change my heart

It’s full of fear

Fear of the new day

What will it bring?

Happy feelings


Another calamity waiting to happen

On which I have no control

Except for praying

Please God, keep us safe





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