Broken

I have seen you on the prayer mat

Bowing down to our God

Yet learnt you lie so blatantly

In total disregard

Of what’s true, and what did happen

The truth between us all

You forget the angels writing

Of what did befall

Your hatred, and maliciousness

Severed the ties that held us close

They are shredded, and beyond repair

With wickedness you pose

Lies, and deceit spread their poison forever

With broken spirit I won’t trust

The likes of you never

(Sheen)

I wrote this poem a year, or two earlier, but have forgotten the date. I had posted it on my blog.

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Broken

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Skewed

I don’t know how it’s with me. For a couple of days I had a sense of misgiving hanging over me — as if something was going to happen.

It happened. Son learned through his ex that their older son H had an accident. Thank God H is alright. His car has been totaled. Someone ploughed into him from behind, and now he is skewed. Son, and I together paid for new tires, and brakes last month on his car, and now all that has gone to waste.

Life is so unpredictable!

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Skewed

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Bestow

Son, and my grandsons

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O God! Bestow upon me good health, Ameen.

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Bestow

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Faint

My village home front lawn

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Feeling faint with worry I listened to the phone call from my chowkidar (watchman or caretaker) who looks after my village home in Charsadda, Pakistan. He let me know that my brother in law A had been sick for some time. His wife had died thirteen years earlier. He had no children, and there was no one to take care of him. The chowkidar Hakim wanted me to give him permission to bring A to my home so that he could take care of him.  Barely three days later Hakim wanted me to care of the incurring expenses. Seeing no way out I had to agree to it.

I just don’t understand where has his money gone from his bank account, saving funds, and from his property? He wasn’t poor. Why didn’t Hakim told me earlier, so that I had a talk with A? 

I had gone early to bed a day earlier. Wakened by the phone I listened to the news that A had died. It was night here but the day of 6th November had already dawned back in Charsadda. I had to give permission for the burial expenses, and so on. 

I sometimes think it’s becoming harder to exist, and God piles on to test your faith. Son has been without a job since August. His bills,spousal, and child support has become my responsibility too. I hope Son soon acquire a job, otherwise I don’t know what we are going to do? 

Please pray for us. Thank you.

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DAILY PROMPT

Faint

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Cacophony

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Daughter talks to me on Face Time nowadays, as she is no longer in Hartford. I usually put on the speaker phone. It allows me to multi task, and hands free while talking to her, besides my hands don’t ache constantly holding the phone to my ear

Most of my neighbors keep dogs. Some are so enamoured they have three instead of one. When daughter talks, she can hear the cacophony of noise offered by the neighborly canines.

Myself, I’m attuned to them by now, and my mind barely register the unholy sound emanating from their throats. For me it’s just a background noise. It doesn’t bother me. Even if it was a source of frustration, what could I do? I can’t go around banging my neighbor’s’ doors complaining to them about their pets.

Daughter was wondering aloud today, “How can you put up with so much noise? Why don’t you move from this neighborhood?”

I want to, and I have tried, but the matter isn’t in my hands. Whenever God Wills it, it will happen.

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DAILY PROMPT

Cacophony

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Expect

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When we pray to God, we expect our prayers to be answered positively. When they don’t we feel disallusioned with life. The three directions in which our prayers go: the first one in which our prayer is instantly accepted by God.

The second one in which our prayer is on hold, and when the appropriate time comes along — it happens.

The third one in which God gives you something better than what you wished for in the Hereafter. It’s said that people will wish that it would have been better if all their prayers were accepted for their Hereafter life.

When bad things happen my way, I wilt, and droop with disappointment…. Sigh…sigh…sigh,  but start anew expecting good things to happen again.

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DAILY PROMPT

Expect

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Brave

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I want to be brave

I can’t change my heart

It’s full of fear

Fear of the new day

What will it bring?

Happy feelings

Or

Another calamity waiting to happen

On which I have no control

Except for praying

Please God, keep us safe

Ameen

(Sheen-October2017)

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DAILY PROMPT

Brave

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Ascend

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A month, or so back, Son and I were looking at houses. Our lease of the apartment was ending, and we wanted to buy a three bedroom house. Daughter came, and put a stop to our searching. She didn’t want us to buy a house on mortgage. According to her I would never ascend to Heaven if I agreed to it. She put the fear of God in me by saying interest is haram. So she put a full stop to buying,  but for renting Son, and I will be again looking up the ads.

There has been a spate of robberies in our area. Even as I am writing a neighbor is moving out. Our security system remains on all the time. When I search for houses, I look at the crime index too. I don’t want to commit a mistake, as Son did in moving to this place.

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DAILY PROMPT

Ascend

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Believe

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IB (grandson) had come after his usual period, a visit to his father every two weeks, coming in the evening on Friday, and going back Sunday evening. He is going lax, not saying his prayers, with no father at home to enforce rules since Son’s divorce last year. IB doesn’t gets up for his morning prayer. He says he no longer does it at home.

Son’s goes the easy way out — leave the unwelcome task of waking up IB (make him say his prayers) to mother, as left to her she will take care of it. Son himself rushes to the mosque near by.

Here is what happened the first time Grandma (that’s me) goes for the attack. She doesn’t want to be a bad guy enforcing rules, and such things. She would like to be a sweet person in the grand children’s memories (sigh), but what can she do?

I dawdle every step on the way to IB’s bed, and try to wake him. Nothing much happens. I go back to my room to complete my prayer, which I had partly done, as the white thread in the sky is slipping over the black one, and time for the Fajr (morn) prayer will soon be over. I feel guilty over my failure before God, while I say my own prayer.

The second time: Son as usual rushes out, on his way to the mosque calling, “Mama please wake IB so that he should say his Fajr prayer”.

This time Grandma has worked out a strategy. “IB please wake up”.

No movement.

I wait for a while, “Please hurry, the prayer time is getting over”.

No movement still.

Okay, I finally say, “If you’re not going to say your prayer, I’m confiscating your IPad for the whole day”.

IB gets up, goes to the washroom to wash his face, arms, and feet, in preparation for the prayer, gets back on the prayer mat, and the morn prayer is offered to the One God in whom our belief exists.

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DAILY PROMPT

Believe

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Planet

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The future of our home — the planet Earth is in jeopardy. If you throw stones at someone, you are bound to get hit by stones too. Threatening someone with a nuclear strike is no laughing matter.

Please God forgive us our sins, and save us from ravages of a nuclear war. Ameen.

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 DAILY PROMPT

Planet

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