Tag Archives: jokes

Too Soon?

I have never liked comedy at the expense of religion, or an individual. I don’t like vulgarity either. There are daily happenings in life which are comic in nature, which can be the base of jokes without offending any one.

A true comedian is never short of words and jokes. He can change any situation into a joke to make people laugh. Comedy is an art perfected by those who are masters in it.

Every thing can sound funny with the twist of right words.

DAILY PROMPT

Too Soon?

Can anything be funny, or are some things off limits?

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/too-soon/

Dear Leader

If your government (local or national) accomplishes one thing this year, what would you like that to be?

Some pressing issues are:

Gun control.

Prohibitive college fees, and education.

Immense increase in costs of hospitalization.

These need to be addressed, and taken care of, and if you are the one, you will be forever remembered in history.
Just to lighten the mood here are two jokes from ajokeaday.com

Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs “give me your money,” he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, “you can’t do this – I am a United States congressman!” “In that case,” replied the mugger, “give me MY money.”

A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I.Q. 20 points.

After a battery of physical and psychological tests, the center’s director told him that he was an acceptable candidate.

“That’s great!” the executive said. “But I understand that this procedure can be really expensive.”

“Yes, sir, it can,” the director replied. “An ounce of accountant’s brain for example, costs one thousand dollars; an ounce of an economist’s brain costs two thousand; an ounce of a corporate president’s is forty-five thousand. An ounce of a politicians brain is seventy-five thousand dollars.”

“Seventy-five thousand dollars for an ounce of a politicians brain? Why on earth is that?”

“Do you have any idea,” the director asked, “how many politicians we would have to kill?”
Read more: http://www.ajokeaday.com/Clasificacion.asp?ID=69&Pagina=5#ixzz3bv6mtBj8

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/dear-leader/

WHAT IS YOUR AGE?

My husband used to tease me about my age. He was twelve years my senior. He would add ten years to my real age and start cracking jokes. I didn’t mind it one bit, when we were alone. In company, it was another matter. I would be fuming inwardly, while pasting a sunny smile on my face.😬.Grrrrrrrrr……..

The thing was, if there were ladies present, I could see it in their eyes, (a woman’s intuition) that I am about my husband’s age, or somehow hiding my true age and trying to appear younger. It used to put me in a very bad light. I would look daggers at him.The truly dense among his audience, would believe his absurd joke, making me feel highly irritated. 😠. At times like those, I would have gladly shipped him to outer space.🚀

You meet all sorts of people in life. Some are comfortable with how they look, their age, (they don’t lie about their age) and what ever. But there are others, who are phonies. They are twisted in their own minds, and they think others are the same as themselves.

Women try to hide their ages more than men. They forget that their faces give them away, unless they had plastic surgery, Botox injections, or any other similar procedure. Such women try to imprint upon your mind, oh their sweet delusions!, that they are years younger than you, rather than the other way round. It’s obvious, but not to them. They have the audacity to behave like you are their ‘Long Lost Granny,’ and should ‘Cuddle’ them up right to your chest. Argh……….😖. Oh Dear God!

20130617-095245.jpg