It’s Never Easy

When Son, and I moved back to Houston from New Bedford, I thought we will be here for keeps. I bought a house. Son, and I went nuts with planting cherries 🍒, lichees, apples, avocado, orange, lemon, grapes, roses, and so on. It has only been eight months since we lived in our house, and now Son’s job is folding up, and I’m afraid of what is going to happen next.

Son has been a traveler for most of our time here, and I’ve been on my own worried, if something untoward happened what will I do. I try to push the worrisome thoughts aside whenever they come to mind, and go on with living one day at a time.

It’s coming to a head. In the coming week, we are going to know what God has decided for us — whether we will be still here, or moving elsewhere. For Son it will be parting with IB (his youngest son) again. While we were here, we could see him every two weeks, when he would come to stay with us from Friday evening till Sunday. Son’s face is gaunt with worry that he won’t be able to see IB frequently. For me it’s IB, and the house.

IB as a four years old

I never knew our time here will be so short. It’s never easy to say goodbye.

Life Was as It Was

It has been eight years. Time passes. It creates a distant fog, blurring memories. I was thinking while sitting by myself, what if there was a magic line on which you could talk to your departed other half. No one knows how long one is going to live,or how soon it will be time to go. Hence these few lines.

I’m ringing your phone

Hoping to hear

You were coming back home

I never knew

How futile it will be

To not hear from you

A magic line, appearing above

The sound of your voice

Coming through

Sitting alone

Longing for you

To be back home

Life was, as it was

(Sheen, August 2020)

Manners

Good manners are the mark of royalty, that’s what I was told as a child. I was instilled with proper etiquettes — how to sit, how to walk, and most important how to behave. Sadly that’s no longer the case with most people I come across. Rude behavior appalls me, and I’m left thinking something must be very wrong with me if every time I take it to heart someone’s rude behavior.

Most of the time, I try to overlook as in the case of youngsters. I blame it on their thoughtlessness, but what about the older generation? Common courtesies are not followed, as standing when a lady enters a room, or greeting her first. It may seem trifling, but my late husband was a true gentleman in his behavior. Secretly I used to be irked when I would see other men not behaving the same way.

Back home youngsters are told to greet their elders first when they see them, even if they don’t know them. Here they don’t say a word. They behave as they are not in the room. I’ve grown immune, and I behave the same way as if I don’t see them.

Courage

To find courage—– one has to draw on one’s innermost strength—– to deal with whatever happens.

…

Courage

Write a new post in response to today’s one-word prompt

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/courage/

Faint

My village home front lawn

…

Feeling faint with worry I listened to the phone call from my chowkidar (watchman or caretaker) who looks after my village home in Charsadda, Pakistan. He let me know that my brother in law A had been sick for some time. His wife had died thirteen years earlier. He had no children, and there was no one to take care of him. The chowkidar Hakim wanted me to give him permission to bring A to my home so that he could take care of him.  Barely three days later Hakim wanted me to care of the incurring expenses. Seeing no way out I had to agree to it.

I just don’t understand where has his money gone from his bank account, saving funds, and from his property? He wasn’t poor. Why didn’t Hakim told me earlier, so that I had a talk with A? 

I had gone early to bed a day earlier. Wakened by the phone I listened to the news that A had died. It was night here but the day of 6th November had already dawned back in Charsadda. I had to give permission for the burial expenses, and so on. 

I sometimes think it’s becoming harder to exist, and God piles on to test your faith. Son has been without a job since August. His bills,spousal, and child support has become my responsibility too. I hope Son soon acquire a job, otherwise I don’t know what we are going to do? 

Please pray for us. Thank you.

…

DAILY PROMPT

Faint

Write a new post in response to today’s one-word prompt.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/faint/

Mystery

…

Life is a mystery from cradle to grave

What lies ahead you never know

Life in the womb, then life outside

Step by step it unfolds you know

Some on the right path, some on the wrong

Life follows an unknown ebb, and flow

Getting through it is a struggle alright

But life is a gift on us bestow

(Sheen-November2017)

…
DAILY PROMPT

Mystery

Write a new post in response to today’s one-word prompt. 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/mystery/

Release

…

To find release from negative thoughts which undermine my calm, my life, I try to banish them to the back of my mind. They are worries which resurface time, and again to topple off my stability in whatever I do. I seek refuge in reading books. I find it calming my soul, and for some moments I forget my problems. Later, much later  — I think of alternatives to solve them.

…
DAILY PROMPT

Release

Write a new post in response to today’s one-word prompt.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/release/

Illusion

.

My life is an illusion

I will wake up one day

And it will be gone

(Sheen-June2017)

…

DAILY PROMPT

Illusion

Write a new post in response to today’s one-word prompt.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/illusion/

Roots

I took a few leaves from the mint leaves we bought from World Food, and poked them into the soil of the pot I had in the balcony. Originally I had planted mint plants in the same pot. While I was in Peshawar, the poor things died of dehydration due to neglect. 

It was an experiment, whether roots would appear. They did! The leaves sprouted roots, and now the mint is slowly spreading. Son is fond of mint chutni with his food. Whereas he is happy, I as a mother feel happy.

What is it with mothers? When our children are unhappy, it seems the light goes out of our lives.

…

DAILY PROMPT

Roots

Write a new post in response to today’s one-word prompt.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/roots/

Unravel

Wish I could unravel those parts of my life

Where I wasn’t at my best

Just like knitting where it doesn’t look right

Work at it again

And make it up tight

(Sheen-April2017)

…

DAILY PROMPT

Unravel

Write a new post in response to today’s one-word prompt.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/unravel/