Tag Archives: marriage

Day Fourteen (A Journey with Quran)

The Quran has guidelines about our life in this world. Since the Arabs had been habituated to gambling for a long period of time, as was the case with alcohol, Allah revealed His Commandments regarding its prohibition only gradually. In the Quran, the first verse regarding gambling is Ayat 219.

This verse did not clearly condemn and prohibit gambling. It was only said that sometimes the gambler gains money without any effort, but its moral evil is so great that a few material advantages are of no account. In the Hadeeth (narrations of the Prophet ), it is recorded that when this verse was revealed, many Muslims totally gave up wine and gambling without waiting for the command of their prohibition to come later on in the gradual process. They quickly realized that something, which is predominantly disadvantageous cannot meet with the approval of Islam.

The position of Islam on gambling was made clearer through another verse, which means:
“O who you believe! Intoxicants (e.g. alcohol) and gambling and idols and (lottery by) arrows are an abomination of Satan’s work, so avoid them so that you may get salvation. Satan’s only desire is to create among you enmity and hatred by means of intoxicants and gambling and stop you from praying and remembering Allah. Will you not then desist?” [Quran 5:90-91]

In Ayat 221 are the guidelines for marriage.

Surah Al-Baqarah : Ayats 204 – 224.

204. There is the type of man whose speech about this world’s life May dazzle thee, and he calls Allah to witness about what is in his heart; yet is he the most contentious of enemies.

205. When he turns his back, His aim everywhere is to spread mischief through the earth and destroy crops and cattle. But Allah loveth not mischief.

206. When it is said to him, “Fear Allah., He is led by arrogance to (more) crime. Enough for him is Hell;-An evil bed indeed (To lie on)!

207. And there is the type of man who gives his life to earn the pleasure of Allah. And Allah is full of kindness to (His) devotees.

208. O ye who believe! Enter into Islam whole-heartedly; and follow not the footsteps of the evil one; for he is to you an avowed enemy.

209. If ye backslide after the clear (Signs) have come to you, then know that Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise.

210. Will they wait until Allah comes to them in canopies of clouds, with angels (in His train) and the question is (thus) settled? but to Allah do all questions go back (for decision).

211. Ask the Children of Israel how many clear (Signs) We have sent them. But if any one, after Allah.s favour has come to him, substitutes (something else), Allah is strict in punishment.

212. The life of this world is alluring to those who reject faith, and they scoff at those who believe. But the righteous will be above them on the Day of Resurrection; for Allah bestows His abundance without measure on whom He will.

213. Mankind was one single nation, and Allah sent Messengers with glad tidings and warnings; and with them He sent the Book in truth, to judge between people in matters wherein they differed; but the People of the Book, after the clear Signs came to them, did not differ among themselves, except through selfish contumacy. Allah by His Grace Guided the believers to the Truth, concerning that wherein they differed. For Allah guided whom He will to a path that is straight.

214. Or do ye think that ye shall enter the Garden (of bliss) without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? they encountered suffering and adversity, and were so shaken in spirit that even the Messenger and those of faith who were with him cried: “When (will come) the help of Allah.” Ah! Verily, the help of Allah is (always) near!

215. They ask thee what they should spend (In charity). Say: Whatever ye spend that is good, is for parents and kindred and orphans and those in want and for wayfarers. And whatever ye do that is good, -(Allah) knoweth it well.

216. Fighting is prescribed for you, and ye dislike it. But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not.

217. They ask thee concerning fighting in the Prohibited Month. Say: “Fighting therein is a grave (offence); but graver is it in the sight of Allah to prevent access to the path of Allah, to deny Him, to prevent access to the Sacred Mosque, and drive out its members.” Tumult and oppression are worse than slaughter. Nor will they cease fighting you until they turn you back from your faith if they can. And if any of you Turn back from their faith and die in unbelief, their works will bear no fruit in this life and in the Hereafter; they will be companions of the Fire and will abide therein.

218. Those who believed and those who suffered exile and fought (and strove and struggled) in the path of Allah,- they have the hope of the Mercy of Allah. And Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.

219. They ask thee concerning wine and gambling. Say: “In them is great sin, and some profit, for men; but the sin is greater than the profit.” They ask thee how much they are to spend; Say: “What is beyond your needs.” Thus doth Allah Make clear to you His Signs: In order that ye may consider-

220. (Their bearings) on this life and the Hereafter. They ask thee concerning orphans. Say: “The best thing to do is what is for their good; if ye mix their affairs with yours, they are your brethren; but Allah knows the man who means mischief from the man who means good. And if Allah had wished, He could have put you into difficulties: He is indeed Exalted in Power, Wise.”

221. Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise.

222. They ask thee concerning women’s courses. Say: They are a hurt and a pollution: So keep away from women in their courses, and do not approach them until they are clean. But when they have purified themselves, ye may approach them in any manner, time, or place ordained for you by Allah. For Allah loves those who turn to Him constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean.

223. Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will; but do some good act for your souls beforehand; and fear Allah. And know that ye are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give (these) good tidings to those who believe.

224. And make not Allah.s (name) an excuse in your oaths against doing good, or acting rightly, or making peace between persons; for Allah is One Who heareth and knoweth all things.

Translation: Abdullah Yusuf

Back

Son’s marriage happened rather un- expectedly. We were thinking it will be sometime in coming September. Whatever God Wills– it happens. So it was earlier. Son reached Peshawer, at three on the day his marriage was arranged. I had to arrange for everything in a hurry – the marriage itself, car decoration, the sweets to be distributed after the Nikah ceremony, and then the Walima itself which is a second day extension of the marriage celebrations.

The first day expenses were born by the bride’s parents, and second day’s expense was mine. Thankfully everything went smoothly. Both days the functions were held at daylight hours. The second day it was continuous rain.

Son extended his leave to spend time with his bride, whereas I returned to New Bedford alone, and promptly fell sick. Nola (daughter) arrived yesterday to take care of me, and showed me to the doctor, and got me the necessary medication. I’m leaving with Nola for Boston tomorrow Insha’Allah, and then onward to Dallas for a three weeks stay before coming back to New Bedford again.

The bride reaches the marriage hall in a Doli. Her brother (the boy in specs) is one of the carriers. Masha’Allah!

Ooze

My daughter was getting married. While shopping for a couple of nail polishes to match the clothes I was going to wear, I came across a new kind of hairspray. It squirted colorful stars into the hair. Though it was costly, but was a must have, so I bought it.

Marriage functions are a three days affair — Mehndi, marriage ceremony that is Shadi and Walima. The first two functions are held by the girl’s parents, and Walima is by the boy’s parents. 

I never got to use my hairspray. We had guests staying at our home, who had come to attend the marriage ceremony. Who tried my hairspray? I found it empty on my dressing table. Someone tried it, and left it oozing out. Must have pressed it too much. 

I remember those three days being extremely tired by the festivities. I missed my daughter, realizing that her days with us were over, and she belonged to someone else now. After the marriage ceremony, when we came back  I started sobbing the minute we entered our home. My sis in law Z tried to console me, and told me not to cry, but to pray to God for my daughter’s happiness in her new life.

The first few months without my daughter were difficult to bear. She had been my constant companion, since her birth, and never been away from me for a single day. When she was home she would be dogging my footsteps. She was my baby. My late husband being wise cautioned me not to divulge my grief to her, so that she won’t feel burdened. Gradually I became used to living without her with us.

In her marriage video when her in laws are taking her away, my head dips down, and I start crying. It’s really strange but when that part is replayed I always get tears in my eyes even after so many years.

DAILY PROMPT

Ooze

Write a new post in response to today’s one-word prompt. 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/ooze/

Partner 

Looking for a partner is not an easy thing nowadays. In my case I am looking for a woman for Son to get married again. Back home arranged marriages are the norm among us. I have approached quite a few ladies who deal in marriages, but haven’t been successful.

Son on his own got registered on matrimonial sites, and paid hefty fees to find a marriage partner. The trouble is that these sites are full of scams. Men pose as women, post photos of good looking females. After a few days of chats, they ask for money which is their true intention of getting their bogus paws on unsuspecting people’s money.

Finding a girl from home country is another option. The biggest hurdle is getting her here. New restrictions are being set up making it all the more harder to get in. If Son gets married from home country, it will be a long long wait, or it will be a heartbreak being denied entry after taking all the trouble.

DAILY PROMPT

Partner

Write a new post in response to today’s one-word prompt.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/partner/

An Offer I couldn’t Refuse

Race the Clock
by Michelle W.
Here’s the title of your post: “An Offer I Couldn’t Refuse.”

Set a timer for ten minutes, and write it. Go!

My father had written a letter to R (my late husband), accepting his marriage proposal. He died three months later. My elder uncle became my guardian. Uncle, and my aunt decided to reject R’s proposal, and they wrote him a letter of refusal soon after my father’s death.

Six months later, R’s father came to insist upon my marriage to his son. Uncle refused, and told him that he was marrying me to his own son, so he should search for some other girl for R.

When R’s father came for the third time, my uncle decided to ask me. I was young, and naive, and afraid of a wrong decision. I told uncle that I couldn’t make a decision, so whatever decision he took was fine by me. Uncle refused saying that he wasn’t my father, so any deciding that had to be done should be by me.

What did I do?
I took two pieces of paper, and wrote R’s name on one paper, and on the other one, my cousin’s name. I folded them, recited Bismillah (b-ismi-llāhi r-raḥmāni r-raḥīmi بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ “In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful”) over them, and closed my eyes to pick. My fate got decided this way.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/race-the-clock/

Does it really matter?

Call Me Ishmael
Take the first sentence from your favorite book and make it the first sentence of your post.

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Does it really matter?
This is the sentence from the book, “Looking Back Texas”, by Leanna Ellis. I finished this one, and another one, “I Dream of Genies” by Judi Fennell.

A few pages of the first one, and I was like ugh….. How much more I can take? I can’t abide endless talking. It drives me nuts. I put it aside, and picked up another one to read. Then there was no one to take me to the library. I was bored with nothing to read.

I was back to Looking Back Texas. OhOhOh! It turned out to be riveting. I raced from one chapter to the next. In the end what is usual for me, I couldn’t wait to find out what happens at the end. I must tell you here, my this habit is deplored by family members. They wonder why I can’t go through the suspense of a story?

When it’s killing me that’s the only recourse left open to me.

Archie leaves his wife Betty Lynne after a marriage of forty six years for a younger woman. Betty asks him before he leaves, as to what she should say. He says to tell everyone that he has died.

The story is hilarious. Betty arranges a funeral, and people get frightened by seeing Archie alive, when they are thinking him dead. They think it’s a ghost.

The other book, I Dream of Genies was all about genies, a talking cat, and magic. Eden (the genie), and Mat (her mortal hero) go through a whirlwind of frightening situations. Mat finally frees Eden from slavery, and from the clutches of an evil vizier who wants her for a wife.

Both books were unusual in their subject matter. I couldn’t tear away myself till I finished them.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/call-me-ishmael/

Friendliness Is My Name

Daily Prompt: Middle Seat
It turns out that your neighbor on the plane/bus/train (or the person sitting at the next table at the coffee shop) is a very, very chatty tourist. Do you try to switch seats, go for a non committed brief small talk, or make this person your new best friend?

Dear WordPress, why does your grid stops working now and then?
It happened to me yesterday, and it happens after every few days.

And now for the daily prompt:

I like it when someone next to me starts talking, when I am alone on a journey. How long one can read a book, or play games on an iPhone? My eyes gave up on me. It brightens up a boring time of waiting to reach the end of a journey.

About three months back on my visit to Boston, I sat next to a woman in the airport lounge. She was going to visit her son. She observed that I was alone, and was asking at the desk for flight information. She came to know we were on the same flight.

She started talking to me. Next we showed our respective spouse’s photos to each other. After that we shared our children’s pictures. Pity she wasn’t sitting next to me on the plane. We would have kept talking. We parted when the flight was announced.

While attending marriage ceremonies, sometimes I sit next to total strangers. We strike up a conversation, and enjoy ourselves, till I find my acquaintances.

At times I land in trouble. In Amsterdam, a woman with a child sat next to me in the airport lounge. We got talking. We had seats in the plane, next to each other. It wasn’t peaceful at all. The child kept whining and crying throughout the flight to New York. I had a splitting headache by the time the flight ended.

The woman asked me to help in carrying her bag. I agreed, but to my dismay she lagged quite a few places behind me. I was worried at carrying her bag. Suppose it was searched, and say anything not allowed was found. I was perspiring at the situation I had landed myself.

I gathered my courage, and ran back to her. I deposited her bag at her feet, muttered sorry, and rushed back to my place in line. The airport personal kept shouting at me angrily to pick up my bag, and not leave it behind. The woman was not indicating that it was her bag. Horrible!

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/middle-seat/
Friendliness Is My Name

A FAVORITE DISH

One of my favorite dish is Pulao. It’s an Urdu name for a rice dish. My memories go back to my childhood days. Back to Baba, (my father) when he was alive. It was a tradition in our home that on Sundays we had Pulao for lunch. It was a must and never to be missed routine. It had raisins, almonds, apricots,mutton,chickpeas and rice. We used to stuff ourselves with it.

Fast forward to me after marriage. I didn’t know cooking. I took time to learn how to cook. Fortunately I learned from magazines, friends and by watching other people. Woman’s Weekly and Woman and Home from UK were my guides in baking. My other must have mag was from US, Good Housekeeping. I simply loved it for ages. Still do.

I will always feel indebted to some of my friends who gave me their recipes. Now back to my Pulao dish. The basics I learned by watching my mother in law, whenever my husband left me at her home. This happened at regular intervals. He would be posted to a new place or in winters he would be called to ‘Army School Of Mountaineering and Snow Warfare’ to conduct Courses in Skiing, Mountaineering and Snow Warfare. I would be without a home and so would be back to m in law.

She was really great at cooking. So this is a family recipe with additions and alterations by myself. I like it made with mutton but it can be made with chicken. The ingredients are as following:—–
Basmati or any long grain rice 2 cups, soaked 1/2 an hour before cooking
Mutton 3/4 kg 🐐 or 1 whole chicken cut into pieces🐓
Chick Peas 1 cup, cooked
Almonds3/4 cup, blanched and skin removed
Raisins, washed and fried for a little while, till they fluff up
Garam masala made up with black pepper, zeera (cumin seeds), a few sticks of cinnamon, 4 large cardamoms, all finely ground
Cloves. 6
2 large onions, sliced
A piece of ginger and 8 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
Salt to taste
Oil 3/4 cup.
2 Tomatoes, chopped

This recipe is enough for four people.

Cook meat till it’s tender. Fry onions in oil till golden brown. Add meat, ginger and garlic. Add tomatoes. Add 1 tsp salt and 1 1/2 tsp garam masala to the mixture.Fry for a few minutes. Remove the fried meat with a slotted spoon. Put 4 cups of water or left over broth from meat. Let it come to a boil. Now add chick peas and rice and 6 cloves, plus salt to taste and another 1 1/2 tea spoon of garam masala. When the whole thing comes to a boil, lower the heat. Cover. When water is partially absorbed, add meat, raisins and almonds. Cover and simmer on low heat till rice is cooked and water absorbed.😋