Best Friends Forever

My closest friend is my daughter. You can call her my very best friend. I was a stay at home mom. Being motherless myself from an early stage I used to be worried that it shouldn’t happen to my children. I loved my children with an intensity, always worried that I may kick the bucket way too soon leaving my kids to life’s vagaries. My whole world revolved around them and still do.

My husband being in the army the children and I were alone at home most of the time. As the children grew up and we faced the many transfers of my husband, we would be posted to such places where education was not up to the standard we liked. We didn’t like leaving our children with relatives. The one option left was hostels. My husband didn’t like leaving Nola in a hostel, but he was okay with our son being left. His thinking was that a boy can take care of himself better than a girl.

Wherever we were posted, Nola and I used to be alone at home and would keep each other company. We enjoyed each other but Nola would forget that I was the mother and would boss me. We had many fights too as she would question my decisions about her.

With her I never needed to talk to other people, as my own chatterbox kept me entertained with her talking and singing all the time. As a small child she was highly protective. Once we went to Nathiagali in winter for skiing. We had invited my cousin and her family for the trip with us. We had gone for a walk. My cousin Z playfully pelted me with snow balls when she suddenly called for help. My daughter had pushed her because she thought I was being attacked by Z.

It’s funny really even my granddaughter M 1 thought when she was four years old that Nola was my mother. She asked M 1 how old was Nano (that’s me) and her reply was that I was six and younger than her. Nowadays Nola’s son TJ is quite confused. He has heard her many times saying that Nano is her eldest child. The last time I visited he was trying to find out what his relationship was with me.

When she came to USA with her husband she was a student on a scholarship. We helped with money as much as we could but still life was hard for her. Years before when looking at an Epilady in Woman’s Weekly I remarked that I was going to get it for myself if I went abroad. At that time it was not available in our country. Can you imagine she had remembered that. She sent me that on my birthday. She knows my penchant for crockery. I have told you the story previously how she made her children carry a set of five dishes and a Lazy Susan. They had to change various airlines along the route. Her children were fed up on hand carrying Nano’s gift and wanted to throw it away.

During my various operations, she was the one looking after me. I won’t bore you with the details. She would nurse me to health and recovery. She would do whatever I asked her with unfailing good spirits. She was truly God’s Blessing for me and still is. I am glad that we are friends more than mother and daughter. Hope we remain so.😌. Amen.

A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same. (Elbert Hubbard)

Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead
Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow
Just walk beside me and be my friend
(Albert Camus)

And here is a poem which sums it up.

When we first talked to each other
I knew we would always be friends
Our friendship has kept on growing
And I’ll be here for you to the end.

You listen when I have a problem
And help dry the tears from my face
You take away my sorrow
And put happiness in it’s place

We can’t forget the fun we’ve had
Laughing ’til our faces turn blue
Talking of things only we find funny
People think we’re insane- if they only knew

I guess this is my way of saying thanks
For catching me when I fall
Thanks once again for being such a good friend
And being here with me through it all

(Anonymous)

A FAVORITE DISH

One of my favorite dish is Pulao. It’s an Urdu name for a rice dish. My memories go back to my childhood days. Back to Baba, (my father) when he was alive. It was a tradition in our home that on Sundays we had Pulao for lunch. It was a must and never to be missed routine. It had raisins, almonds, apricots,mutton,chickpeas and rice. We used to stuff ourselves with it.

Fast forward to me after marriage. I didn’t know cooking. I took time to learn how to cook. Fortunately I learned from magazines, friends and by watching other people. Woman’s Weekly and Woman and Home from UK were my guides in baking. My other must have mag was from US, Good Housekeeping. I simply loved it for ages. Still do.

I will always feel indebted to some of my friends who gave me their recipes. Now back to my Pulao dish. The basics I learned by watching my mother in law, whenever my husband left me at her home. This happened at regular intervals. He would be posted to a new place or in winters he would be called to ‘Army School Of Mountaineering and Snow Warfare’ to conduct Courses in Skiing, Mountaineering and Snow Warfare. I would be without a home and so would be back to m in law.

She was really great at cooking. So this is a family recipe with additions and alterations by myself. I like it made with mutton but it can be made with chicken. The ingredients are as following:—–
Basmati or any long grain rice 2 cups, soaked 1/2 an hour before cooking
Mutton 3/4 kg 🐐 or 1 whole chicken cut into pieces🐓
Chick Peas 1 cup, cooked
Almonds3/4 cup, blanched and skin removed
Raisins, washed and fried for a little while, till they fluff up
Garam masala made up with black pepper, zeera (cumin seeds), a few sticks of cinnamon, 4 large cardamoms, all finely ground
Cloves. 6
2 large onions, sliced
A piece of ginger and 8 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
Salt to taste
Oil 3/4 cup.
2 Tomatoes, chopped

This recipe is enough for four people.

Cook meat till it’s tender. Fry onions in oil till golden brown. Add meat, ginger and garlic. Add tomatoes. Add 1 tsp salt and 1 1/2 tsp garam masala to the mixture.Fry for a few minutes. Remove the fried meat with a slotted spoon. Put 4 cups of water or left over broth from meat. Let it come to a boil. Now add chick peas and rice and 6 cloves, plus salt to taste and another 1 1/2 tea spoon of garam masala. When the whole thing comes to a boil, lower the heat. Cover. When water is partially absorbed, add meat, raisins and almonds. Cover and simmer on low heat till rice is cooked and water absorbed.😋