When Son, and I moved back to Houston from New Bedford, I thought we will be here for keeps. I bought a house. Son, and I went nuts with planting cherries 🍒, lichees, apples, avocado, orange, lemon, grapes, roses, and so on. It has only been eight months since we lived in our house, and now Son’s job is folding up, and I’m afraid of what is going to happen next.
Son has been a traveler for most of our time here, and I’ve been on my own worried, if something untoward happened what will I do. I try to push the worrisome thoughts aside whenever they come to mind, and go on with living one day at a time.
It’s coming to a head. In the coming week, we are going to know what God has decided for us — whether we will be still here, or moving elsewhere. For Son it will be parting with IB (his youngest son) again. While we were here, we could see him every two weeks, when he would come to stay with us from Friday evening till Sunday. Son’s face is gaunt with worry that he won’t be able to see IB frequently. For me it’s IB, and the house.
I never knew our time here will be so short. It’s never easy to say goodbye.
White hairs appeared in my thatch of brown in my early thirties. It was a panicky moment when I first noticed them. To me white hair meant old age had caught up with me. My late husband’s had streaks of white from his twenties, and people always thought him double his real age. Worried at the thought of it, I took to coloring.
Over the years, my hair lost its shinning luster, and are falling off at a great speed. I feel wretched at my thinning hair, and powerless at how to stop their falling off. When I shampoo my hair, clutches of them cling to my hands.
Alarmed 😧, I think of stopping to use hair color. The moment lasts, till I notice my face thin, lifeless, and wane without the halo of brown hair around it. There goes my resolution—- I take to coloring again.
One thing I have found out is that people who think, and worry, are more likely to suffer increased amount of hair loss, and thinning of hair. Those who don’t bother their heads are less likely to suffer hair loss, and have abundance of hair. Examples I can quote in my own family. One relative who is in his eighties has thick hair despite his medical problems. Another one who is in his early fifties supports a mass of thick hair.
When we lived in Houston, Son, and I were looking at houses. One lady who was in her forties was also looking around. She had a mass of lovely grey hair. I had a thought that If I had not subjected my hair to coloring, my hair would have looked the same.
Feeling faint with worry I listened to the phone call from my chowkidar (watchman or caretaker) who looks after my village home in Charsadda, Pakistan. He let me know that my brother in law A had been sick for some time. His wife had died thirteen years earlier. He had no children, and there was no one to take care of him. The chowkidar Hakim wanted me to give him permission to bring A to my home so that he could take care of him. Barely three days later Hakim wanted me to care of the incurring expenses. Seeing no way out I had to agree to it.
I just don’t understand where has his money gone from his bank account, saving funds, and from his property? He wasn’t poor. Why didn’t Hakim told me earlier, so that I had a talk with A?
I had gone early to bed a day earlier. Wakened by the phone I listened to the news that A had died. It was night here but the day of 6th November had already dawned back in Charsadda. I had to give permission for the burial expenses, and so on.
I sometimes think it’s becoming harder to exist, and God piles on to test your faith. Son has been without a job since August. His bills,spousal, and child support has become my responsibility too. I hope Son soon acquire a job, otherwise I don’t know what we are going to do?
Please pray for us. Thank you.
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