Tag Archives: worries

It’s Never Easy

When Son, and I moved back to Houston from New Bedford, I thought we will be here for keeps. I bought a house. Son, and I went nuts with planting cherries 🍒, lichees, apples, avocado, orange, lemon, grapes, roses, and so on. It has only been eight months since we lived in our house, and now Son’s job is folding up, and I’m afraid of what is going to happen next.

Son has been a traveler for most of our time here, and I’ve been on my own worried, if something untoward happened what will I do. I try to push the worrisome thoughts aside whenever they come to mind, and go on with living one day at a time.

It’s coming to a head. In the coming week, we are going to know what God has decided for us — whether we will be still here, or moving elsewhere. For Son it will be parting with IB (his youngest son) again. While we were here, we could see him every two weeks, when he would come to stay with us from Friday evening till Sunday. Son’s face is gaunt with worry that he won’t be able to see IB frequently. For me it’s IB, and the house.

IB as a four years old

I never knew our time here will be so short. It’s never easy to say goodbye.

When to ✋ Stop

White hairs appeared in my thatch of brown in my early thirties. It was a panicky moment when I first noticed them. To me white hair meant old age had caught up with me. My late husband’s had streaks of white from his twenties, and people always thought him double his real age. Worried at the thought of it, I took to coloring.

Over the years, my hair lost its shinning luster, and are falling off at a great speed. I feel wretched at my thinning hair, and powerless at how to stop their falling off. When I shampoo my hair, clutches of them cling to my hands.

Alarmed 😧, I think of stopping to use hair color. The moment lasts, till I notice my face thin, lifeless, and wane without the halo of brown hair around it. There goes my resolution—- I take to coloring again.

One thing I have found out is that people who think, and worry, are more likely to suffer increased amount of hair loss, and thinning of hair. Those who don’t bother their heads are less likely to suffer hair loss, and have abundance of hair. Examples I can quote in my own family. One relative who is in his eighties has thick hair despite his medical problems. Another one who is in his early fifties supports a mass of thick hair.

When we lived in Houston, Son, and I were looking at houses. One lady who was in her forties was also looking around. She had a mass of lovely grey hair. I had a thought that If I had not subjected my hair to coloring, my hair would have looked the same.


My village home front lawn

Feeling faint with worry I listened to the phone call from my chowkidar (watchman or caretaker) who looks after my village home in Charsadda, Pakistan. He let me know that my brother in law A had been sick for some time. His wife had died thirteen years earlier. He had no children, and there was no one to take care of him. The chowkidar Hakim wanted me to give him permission to bring A to my home so that he could take care of him.  Barely three days later Hakim wanted me to care of the incurring expenses. Seeing no way out I had to agree to it.

I just don’t understand where has his money gone from his bank account, saving funds, and from his property? He wasn’t poor. Why didn’t Hakim told me earlier, so that I had a talk with A? 

I had gone early to bed a day earlier. Wakened by the phone I listened to the news that A had died. It was night here but the day of 6th November had already dawned back in Charsadda. I had to give permission for the burial expenses, and so on. 

I sometimes think it’s becoming harder to exist, and God piles on to test your faith. Son has been without a job since August. His bills,spousal, and child support has become my responsibility too. I hope Son soon acquire a job, otherwise I don’t know what we are going to do? 

Please pray for us. Thank you.



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Gone are the days when I had no worries

Now I am steeped in them from head to toe

And they are as thick as snow flurries

Gone are the days when my husband was here

Gone are the times when he would take care

A tenant charged money for home repairs

No work was done, the house is in disrepair

When a person breaks your trust

You stop trusting anyone

People like those have two faces

The hidden one is the hideous one

(Sheen-January 3, 2017)



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Want to construct a dream

Where there is no farce 

A place to run to, and scheme 

Hide from life realities there in

Breath freely, relax and daydream

No hatred, no worries in sight

But I know the hopelessness really

A place like it doesn’t exist

Now to which place I should turn to

 In my life it’s just a pipe dream 

(Sheen-December 2016)




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I look at my missteps and do get worried anew

What will happen to me next as my worries grew

How will I manage and stay clear of the missteps

I still have my fiery dragons to slew

Now I watch my footsteps as a mother watches kids

I do hope and pray to God I never have to skid




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How do I Know?

I live in the present not knowing what the future holds

Having no answers I leave everything to God

Thinking of good things pushing worries aside

Hoping eventually they will be solved


God is Great, God is Merciful.


Six of One, Half a Dozen of the Other

Write a six-word story about what you think the future holds for you, and then expand on it in a post.


Age Doesn’t Matter

Daily Prompt: Age – Old Questions
“Age is just a number,” says the well-worn adage. But is it a number you care about, or one you tend (or try) to ignore?

My daughter rang me up on my last birthday (94 days more to go for my next birthday). Trust her not to forget!

Her question: “How old are you now?”
(As if she doesn’t know)

My answer: “Fourteen!”

She laughs at the expected reply, and I laugh too with her.

Worries and tension leave their mark
Crumbling your happiness in two

Age then show in face and posture
Letting downward lines creep through

Age doesn’t matter if you are happy
Happiness warms and gladdens your heart

With smiles and echoing laughter
Joy lights you ageless from outside too

Age Doesn’t Matter