The end of the road……
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Retrospective
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The end of the road……
…
Retrospective
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I have seen you on the prayer mat
Bowing down to our God
Yet learnt you lie so blatantly
In total disregard
Of what’s true, and what did happen
The truth between us all
You forget the angels writing
Of what did befall
Your hatred, and maliciousness
Severed the ties that held us close
They are shredded, and beyond repair
With wickedness you pose
Lies, and deceit spread their poison forever
With broken spirit I won’t trust
The likes of you never
(Sheen)
I wrote this poem a year, or two earlier, but have forgotten the date. I had posted it on my blog.
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Broken
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I can’t throw them away. How can I?
I’m keeping them. They are awful. If I discard them now, how I’m going to know how far I’ve progressed in my efforts? It has only been a month, and yet it seems a life time. Even children are far better than me in it. They automatically know what to do. I wish I had started earlier in my endeavors. I would have got a lot better than the snail pace I’m going through.
I’ll be going to juxtapose. That will definitely show my progress.
Dear readers you must be mystified as to what I’m really doing? I’m trying to dab in water colors. I never knew dealing with brushes would be so hard for me. I used to think it would be easy. It isn’t! First of all, I definitely know they have a mind of their own. How can it be? Aren’t they inert creatures? They are, but in my hands they behave differently.
A single stroke of color, and everything goes wrong. It’s disheartening. Trying to persevere I try again. I have found Son highly supportable. He thinks maybe a time comes his mother’s efforts bear fruit, and her paintings might fetch large sums. I’ve told him it’s unlikely in the near future, and in the far away future too. I know, because I stand at the lowest rung of the ladder, and it will be years before I’m satisfied as to what I paint.
Do you know that Van Gogh didn’t sell a single painting in his life. He went crazy, and killed himself. Isn’t it an irony but one of his painting sold for $81.3 million in November 2017.
Van Gogh’s 1889 landscape, “Laboureur dans un champ” Source: Christie’s.
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Juxtapose
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We had gone to Galveston on a day trip. That was the year 2015, and we lived in Houston. Shortly after reaching there, I badly needed to use a restroom. There was none in sight. Son took me in his car to search for one. We found an outhouse. It was simply archaic. I thanked my lucky stars I didn’t live in the era when there were no toilets, and running water.
Same was the case when my late husband, and I went for Haj (pilgrimage to Mecca). It was the year 1996. I was thankful that I prevailed upon my husband in going for Haj, because from 2003 to 2012 were the worst years of my life due to illness.
There weren’t any restrooms in Arafat and Muzdalifah. I have heard that problem has been resolved for the Hajees (those who are performing the pilgrimage).
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Archaic
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One child of mine
I shall not name
Always assume the worst of me
Won’t let me explain
It hurts me no end
As I feel insane
Why does it happen
Is my constant complain
(Sheen-May2018)
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Assumption
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Dreams I had dreamt
They disappeared
Leaving no trace behind
They were just thoughts
Figments of imagination
Hopes to which I aspired
No longer attainable
And I have stopped
Thinking of them
Letting them float away
Out of my reach
Out of my life
(Sheen-May2018)
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Disappear
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I feel tongue tied when I meet people for the first time. There are long stretches of silence, while in my mind I search for a safe topic to discuss. Besides I keep wondering what next to say if the other person doesn’t give a hopeful response.
There are times when you meet certain people, and you are trying to break the ice, and all they do is to leave all the talking to you alone. Those moments are terribly annoying.
My late husband would get upset with me over it. He would say, “You eat my head off with nonstop talking when I’m home”, meaning why can’t I be same way with other people.
He was my husband, and naturally I felt comfortable while talking with him. I didn’t feel awkward.
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Awkward
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Ramadan Mubarak to all those who have started fasting.
Sorry to say (it feels sacrilegious) when Ramadan begins, I dread the day long fasting. I feel fearful as to how I’m going to fast, and how I’m going to last? My face goes thin, and gaunt. As days go by I start loving Ramadan, and feels nostalgic at its end. I want it to go on, and on.
There is no frantic worry, that if Son came home in the middle of the day as to what will I give him to eat? I’m serene in the knowledge I have ample time to make something for the evening Iftari (breaking of fast).
Today I got up at three in the morning to say Tahajjud Prayer first, and then hurried to the kitchen to get myself whatever I usually have for breakfast. I just add a daily serving of yogurt to my menu as it helps in fasting, but I didn’t have any, because I forgot.
I was alone in fasting as Son left for Hartford, Connecticut yesterday evening. He had a case there. I had to prepare sandwiches for him to take with him for his fast. Hotels don’t serve breakfast before seven in the morning.
At the muezzin call to Fajr (morning) prayer at 3.51 AM, my fast began. It will end at 7.57 PM with the call to Maghreb (evening) prayer. The time starts varying. It gradually lengthens. On the last day (thirty days period) the fast will start at 3.27 AM, and end at 8.20 PM.
Blessings, and Peace on everyone.
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Thin
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Nola (daughter) had specially come here for a day to New Bedford, MA to be with us (Son, and I) for Mother’s Day. There was a slight drop of temperature, and the day was cold, and windy. I hadn’t realized that it would be chilly outside, and belatedly followed my children out of the building without wearing socks, and shoes. It wasn’t a good idea, as my feet are more susceptible to cold.
I thoroughly enjoyed being pampered by both my children. It seemed everybody out there had the same idea – that’s to give their mothers a good time.
WOW! To Happy Mother’s Day.
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Slight
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I don’t know how it’s with me. For a couple of days I had a sense of misgiving hanging over me — as if something was going to happen.
It happened. Son learned through his ex that their older son H had an accident. Thank God H is alright. His car has been totaled. Someone ploughed into him from behind, and now he is skewed. Son, and I together paid for new tires, and brakes last month on his car, and now all that has gone to waste.
Life is so unpredictable!
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Skewed
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